57 pounds Cocker?! 50磅的科卡?!

My weight has always been a constant concern to my parents. They have done everything they can. But nothing seems to work. I poof up effortlessly with every breath I take. I am probably the chubbiest English Cocker you can find.
我娘跟我爹一直以來都為我的體重問題十分煩心, 他們絞盡腦汁盡其所能的來幫助我, 然而至今仍是徒勞無功. 我已經到了一呼吸就會胖的神助功夫. 我可能是你能找到的最大隻的英國科卡犬.

According to American Kennel Club (AKC), the "desirable" weight for a average normal male English Cocker is supposed to be around 28 to 34 pounds (around 13 to 16 kg). In my case, I am way out of that range. You can get a glimpse from what my dad likes to call me "50-pound furry thing". This may justify why some of the local Chinese think I am a Dalmatian.
根據美國犬類協會, 英國科卡犬男生的理想體重是介於28~34磅間(約13~16公斤). 我嘛~嘿嘿, 早超出那個標準了. 我爹愛叫我是"50磅毛毛", 這樣你心裡對於我到底有幾斤重大概可以有個底了. 也許這可以解釋在上海這裡的有些人為什麼以為我是隻大麥町.

That day, daddy decided to track down where my "poofing process" is . Because I wiggles all the time, he usually hold me and weight us both and then eliminate his weight to get my weight.
那天老爹決定要了解一下我"吹脹"的進度. 老爹的方法是抱著我站上磅秤一起量, 得出總重, 然後扣除他的體重, 就得出我的. 他通常用這辦法來幫我量體重, 是因為我一分鐘都定不下來, 很難要我自己站上磅秤.

"Monster, are you ready for this?" "Don't tell me, dad!"
"小怪獸, 準備好了要量囉~" "把拔, 快點量啦~ 不要說了啦!"

"Oh, man, I can't believe my eyes..(daddy was stunned)" ".........(no words from Squarky)"
"我的乖兜巄地東, 不敢相信我看到的...(果爸驚嚇中)" "......(果果無言中)"


"57 pounds! son! What happened??" "57? Is that the total number of birds and rabbits I had ate? (pretend dummy)"
"兒子啊! 57磅咧! 這一下是給他發生過甚麼事情, 啊~ 把拔不知道咧?" "甚麼57? 把拔是在說我總共吃過多少隻的鳥鳥跟兔子嗎? (果果裝傻中)"


"Son, what are we going to do with this 57-pound?!" "I am innocent! ...It poofs! I can't stop it! (pretend "baby" immdediately)
"兒子啊~ 無語問蒼天~ 這下你叫你老母老爸怎麼辦咧?" "人不是我殺的! "發酵"到這步田地, 也不是我要的, 啊喲~ 把拔不要再講了啦! (馬上耍賴裝puppy撒嬌)"


"Mommy, since I've reached another milestone, can I have some biscuit?"
"(咳咳...清嗓) 瑪迷~ 既然....我又邁向了另一個里程碑, 我好棒, 對吧! 那~~ 來塊小餅乾獎勵一下, 好唄?" (先是左邊得意興奮眼睛發亮光的表情, 然後馬上變成瞇眼加菲貓諂媚的表情...)